There is the feeling that I must choose soon between L and my life. Well, everything I've built my life to be. And despite my determination to just bow out in a blaze of glory, have an amicable divorce from Kiyomi, and live in a house with L, I worry that I won't. I know that I won't. I'll choose a job over him and he'll never forgive me. But I did marry him in this life where I'm no one. To prove something to him and myself, I married him. Tomorrow I'll be Prime Minister of Japan, husband of Kiyomi, father to a son and heir, and important again. That life supports my ego while L only dismantles it. I don't think I could be satisfied with only one of my choices in my life. I know myself, you see.

Сегодня весь день плачу на работе.

Пошла относить дары от поставщика генеральному, наткнулась на исполнительного директора, она меня начала успокаивать и предложила взять выходной. А я не могу брать выходные.
Я ничего не могу уже.

мне исполнилось 33 года, наступило моё любимое время года, но я перегораю на работе, мне нужно больше учиться договариваться с людьми и больше зарабатывать.

Прилагаю ощутимые усилия, чтобы не сорваться.
Самое время дочитать 4 тома дэзноты и зарыдать весь мир.

У нас в отделе увольняются двое сотрудников.
Это интересный опыт.

Гендир пишет мне, что начался исход, я пишу ему, давайте повышать з.п.

Проехала 30 км за сутки.
Невероятно горда собой, но буду скучать по коленям.

Продолжаю перечитывать фик про политиков.

Абзац про курение и продажность.

Let me be clear, I do not smoke. It is dangerous both to yourself and others. A leading cause of cancer, heart and respiratory disease, cot death, infertility, puts immense pressure on the health service, is a public nuisance, is economically unsound (although the government approve of it due to the healthy injection the taxes bring to the treasury, but we don't talk about that), is a littering problem, the cause for many house fires, and affects your skin, teeth, hair and clothes. But everyone smokes occasionally for that whisper of hedonism. It's always been this way. It was one of the first subtleties I learned in the secret language of politicians. It says that I am a wild card. My loyalty and morals are for sale, so approach me with an offer, if you have one. All this may or may not be true; I appear to do one thing when I'm actually doing the opposite. My heart is the purest gold and no one can touch it, but I have to be seen to give out invitations. You should always make yourself as accessible as possible to the benefits which can come from it. There are many hidden meanings in everything we do. The choices we make must be made with consideration and care. My doctor assures me that he doesn't even think of me as a smoker.

Решила выкладывать кусочки Those! сюда.

Вот, например, что будущий премьер-министр думает об отношениях.

"She wants a baby," he says.

"Sayu? Wow. I'm sorry, Touta."

"I told her that we can't afford one at the moment but that just made her more angry and started chopping carrots with a huge cleaver. Then she cried."

"Oh."

"That's not good, is it? Light, what if she asks for a divorce?"

"I don't think that's going to happen. I mean, when Misa started doing all that stuff, I just bought her dresses and she shut up after a while. You have to learn how to switch off. You know what you need? A home office with a lock on the door."

"Is that what happens? You live with someone and you end up locked in a room to get away from them?"

"Not necessarily. It's just for emergencies, like a bomb shelter."

Ощущение, что я не человек, а оболочка.

Летала в Екатеринбург с подругами.

Узнала новость о том, что умер мой дядя. Никогда с ним особо не общалась, помню только один телефонный звонок, в который мне было крайне неловко.

Поздоровалась с Иваном Реоном.

Сходила на Пентаконцерт.

Послушала орган в церкви глубокой ночью.

Прочитала Игру Эндера.

Много плакала.